Few things are scarier or make one feel less helpless than learning a friend is in an abusive relationship. Fortunately, you no longer need to feel helpless. Become familiar with the symptoms of abuse, and discuss them with your friend.

6 Major Signs of Domestic Abuse

1. A change in style of clothing or makeup that is different from usual.
2. A loss of self-confidence or difficulty in making personal, important decisions.
3. Frequent avoidance of spending time with close friends or participating in previously enjoyed activities to always be with their partner.
4. A decline in performance at work or school.
5. Unexplained, mysterious injuries.
6. An increase in drug or alcohol use.

What to do Next

According to the In the Know Zone on dating violence at www.intheknowzone.com, to help a friend you think is the victim of abuse, it is crucial to make him/her aware of your concern. Talk to them in private and let them know that you support them no matter what. Describe the specifics of why you are concerned without being too pushy or nosy. Remember to be patient. Someone that is being abused may be defensive or in denial. They may hesitate in admitting they are being abused, but letting them know that you will be there whenever they need you will make them reconsider opening up.

It is absolutely essential not to be judgmental or to force them into taking action. This may cause them to shut you out or retreat further into their shell. Also, keep your suspicions to yourself--gossiping to your friends will not help the situation. It is common for abused individuals to want to swear informants to secrecy. Promising not to gossip to mutual friends is one issue, but if a friend's life is in danger or if the violence has gotten out of hand, do not hesitate to contact the local authorities. Rather, offer to go to a counselor with them.

Staying informed can be helpful when dealing with friends that might have been abused. The more you know about available resources and methods in which to handle friends who have been abused, the more helpful you will be. Do not attempt to handle situations such as these on your own, however. It is important to involve the proper professional help and keep your and your friend's safety in mind. Remind your friend that they are not alone, that it is not their fault, and that there is help available.

Where to Turn for Help

Marriage counselors, psychiatrists or church groups are all common places to go for help, but may not be best equipped to deal with violence or abuse in relationships. Help your friend develop a safety plan, perhaps even one that involves you. Offer your assistance in formulating a plan. This can include preparing a bag with spare clothes, car keys, identification documents and other important things. Help them locate a safety agency that offers counseling or support groups.