Should You Maintain a Friendship with Your Ex-Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

A number of factors can influence your ability to maintain a meaningful friendship with your ex-sweetheart, not the least of which is the nature of the breakup itself.

Can you be friends with your former significant other, especially after a breakup? This is a thought-provoking question and a situation to be grappled with. The answer may depend on a few different factors.

The nature of the breakup is important. If you both decided that you were better off as friends or just thought it was time to move on, then the potential to be friends is promising. An amicable breakup may not only make life a little easier, but may make salvaging a friendship from the relationship a real possibility.

On the other hand, the breakup may not have been a good one. One or both of you may be healing from the emotional wounds left behind. In this case, it may be beneficial to walk away for a while before approaching a friendship. Taking the time to heal and come to grips with what occurred between the two of you may give you both the opportunity to decide whether or not a friendship will be worth having.

There are, unfortunately, some ex-significant others you simply cannot be friends with. After all, there was a reason the two of you broke up! For example, if this person cheated on you, or vice-versa, or if one of you did something so appalling that it dramatically ended the relationship, you might not want to stay friends. There are some situations where you cannot fathom continuing any contact with your former partner, and that's fine. Take this relationship as a valuable lesson learned, then move on with your life.

Becoming friends with a former flame is a tricky balance, so you should remember to state boundaries early on. It's important to be very clear with your ex-boy or girlfriend to make sure no one is confused and that you're just friends, nothing more. If the situation allows, becoming friends with your ex may be a worthwhile effort.

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